As of Yet, No Tears Have Been Shed
by Fem Son Goku
Summary: A series of one shots on the relationship between Kougaji and Fem!Goku. Post-Saiyuki storyline... SURREALISM
1. Chapter 2

AN: Crossdressing.

-Story Start-

One-Shot 2- When Pandas Fly

"Hey Baldy!"

"Baldy, I have something really important to say!"

"BALDY!"

"..._What?"_

"Yay! You're still talking to me!"

"Was that all?"

"Oh yeah," She said as if just remembering what she was going to say, "I was gonna tell you that you might wanna watch out for Kougaiji, cuz he's so mad at you that I'm not even aloud to talk to you anymore!"

"One: Then why the hell are we even having this conversation. Two: What got that bastard angrier at me that at the monkey for once?"

" Kou's upset cuz he found out that you and Goku sometimes share a room together, and he thinks you're a rival for Goku's love!"

_"What?"_

"He _what_?" The red headed the demon and "priest" both turned there heads to see the girl with rust colored hair, one in delight, and the other in annoyance. Lirin bounced happily over to her. "Kou says that yer gonna be his wife! Does that mean you'll be my sister?" This seemed to send the girl into an even deeper rage than before. "You tell that cocky, arrogant, _bastard_, that the day I agree to marry him is day pandas fly, and Gojyo has the same girlfriend for a solid week!"

"...Why pandas?"

"CUZ I FRICKIN LIKE PANDAS, THAT'S WHY!"

TIME SKIP

"Really? Are you sure she said pandas and not pigs?"

TIME SKIP

"I can't believe we're gonna be stuck here an entire 2 weeks!"

"Stupid snow! _I_ never liked snow."

"You liked it well enough when it got you food. Amazing you don't have a wall if fat to keep you warm monkey."

"Shut up Gojyo, you goddamn- Oh. My. God." Flying towards the two arguing redheads was Kougaiji, on a dragon, with a baby panda. "_Kougaiji..._"

"You said that day you agreed to marry me would be the day pandas flew and Gojyo kept the same girlfriend for a solid week. So pandas have flown, and I will force Gojyo to complete the other half of that statement. You can keep the panda if you want." And then, Goku smiled. "Kougaiji..."

"Yes?"He answered both cautious and pleasantly surprised. "You have ten minutes to_ run_. Run like _hell_."

TIME SKIP

"Do you think we lost her?"

"I don't know, but why the hell did you take me with you!?"

"Goku said that the say she marries me is the day pandas fly and you keep the same girlfriend for a week."

_"So?"_

"_So_, Whether she realizes it or not, in the demon world a statement like the non-serious one that she _thought_ she made would be taken literally. So if it happens, then, legally, in the demon society, she would be engaged to me."

"Listen asshole,_ she_ isn't aware of that! You shouldn't force her into anything!"

"But I'm not!"

"Whadda ya mean you're not!"

"_She_ is just being stubborn! She'll come around eventually!"

"Bullshit she will!"

"Listen, if you go out with the same girl for more than a week, I'll do _anything_!"

"No!"

"I'll wait until she accepts me! I love her dammit Gojyo!"

"...You said you would do _anything_ right?"

"Anything!"

An evil grin spread across the half demon's face. "We'll then..."

TIME SKIP

"Why are you here Lirin?" Asked a golden eyed girl, as she tied a neon orange ribbon around the neck of her new panda. "Cuz Kou said that you like him too, even though you won't admit it!"

"That's not true!" She exclaimed, though on her face was a light blush."Yes it is! We all know it's true, even your friends baldy & the others! If even baldy knows it, then you're in denial"

"Listen Lirin, that's not true!"

"What's not true?" Goku and Lirin took only one look at Kougaiji before imediently burst into laughter. "Stop laughing already! You're not even supposed to be here, Lirin!" Said Kougaiji... cross dressing in a knee length pink dress with his long hair tied back with a pink ribbon. "So," Goku gasped between breathes and setting down the panda in a small wooden pen, "Are_ you_ going to be Gojyo's girlfriend?" Hereby sending herself and Lirin into another fit of laughter. "Damn woman!" He growled out leaving the room, slamming the door behind him. Yet he couldn't help but wear a slight smile on his face. "So what are you naming the panda?"

TIME SKIP

"Hey monkeyness!"

"What is it cockroach?"

"Will you go out with me?"

_"WHAT?"_

"Me and Kougaiji made a certain deal, which you have already seen, in order to get me to go out with the same girl for a week, and it would really piss him off if we pretended to be going out!" He exclaimed laughing. And after a second of initial shock Goku started laughing with him. But they didn't know a certain cross dresser was literally just around the corner.

TIME SKIP

"I'm _what_ now!?"

"You, my monkey, are legally engaged to me by demon law!"

"No I'm not!"

"Oh but you are! You see, panda flew, and Gojyo went out with the same girl/_you_ for an entire week! So now you're mine!"

"Wrong! I'm not even a demon, so your rules don't even apply to me! And even if they did, it's not like I love you back or anything!" All the triumphant mocking playfulness left Kougaiji's face and voice. _"Oh really?"  
_  
"Yes!"

"Yet your face says other wise..." Indeed her face was distorted, as someone about to cry. "Why are you so-!" He was interrupted at the feeling of the shorter girls lips on his. And so, this must be where the real trouble begins... Right? Oh hell yeah. But still, as of yet, no tears have been shed.

-Story End-

AN: More mindf*** to come *evil laughter*


	2. Chapter 3

AN: I'm a horrible person, aren't I?

-Story Start-

One-shot 3: Dresses and Such

"_KOUGAIJI_!" The aforementioned redhead walked in a moment later. "Kougaiji, I _told_ you to stop getting me frilly clothes! It's just not my style!" The man rolled his eyes. He- and since Lirin told him, likely everyone else his half-sister had ever spoken to- knew that Goku really loved girly things- In extreme moderation, of course- and liked having some nicer dresses on standby for when she felt like wearing them. "Would you rather I replaced your wardrobe with the kinds of clothing Gojyo sends his girlfriends?"

"Ha ha ha, very funny."

"Oh don't think I won't consider doing it. I am a man. I do have needs..."

"F*** off!" She yelled as she threw a poor, innocent, unsuspecting book at him (The Hero and the Crown) which he easily caught and took with him as he left, a slight smile on his face. "Yeesh, He's such an asshole."

"Who's an asshole?" asked a random Lirin. "Your brother." Lirin just smiled wider. "But your my sister now, so he's your asshole too!" Goku threw down the nice dress she had in her hand. "He's not my asshole until tomorrow afternoon!"

"Um, Excuse me Goku-chan, but why do you insult Kougaiji so much? I can tell you really love him so..." A deep blush rose to the aforementioned monkeyness's cheeks at the fact Yaonne brought up that everyone else valued their lives to much to mention... How long had she been standing there anyways? "WE DON'T SPEAK OF IT IN THIS HOUSE!... Now are you two gonna help me decide on a goddamn wedding dress or not?"

TIME SKIP

"Hakkai, do I _have_ to wear red?"

"Yes, of course! It's a Chinese tradition for the bride to wear red!"

"But I look better in yellow... And we broke, like, 10 different demon traditions and/or are planning to."

"Goku, we can't take off your power limiter to put on a new one, because you wouldn't stay sane long enough! And did you _want_ to sacrifice a half-demon child?"

"Well you see, I still think we could somehow turn Gojyo into a child, if you would _just_ listen to my idea..."

"Goku, we are _not_ breaking out of prison so you can _sacrifice_ Gojyo- no matter how much we all want to sometimes."

"Hmm..."

Lirin had long ago gotten bored and left (and Goku would have gone with her if she could) leaving the girl with only Hakkai (who had no taste) Momo Maria Nina van Alice Angel McCuddles (her panda) and Yaonne (who wouldn't state her opinion for fear of hurting someone's feelings) for help. "I still like the first one you tried on," He said referencing a red kimono with blue bows _all over it_, and yellow stripes. Yaonne's face turned slightly sour at the memory, but, sticking with her rule, she didn't say anything. Scowling, the golden eyed girl went back into the changing room to try on the last dress. She ran out a few minutes later, an extremely happy look on her face. She was wearing a simple crimson Daxiushan, covered in golden swirl designs, held closed at only the waist by a golden yellow obi, the strapless gown underneath being equally red. "I want this one!" She yelled as she tripped over the dress and a ripping sound was heard.

-Story End-

AN: I kind of don't like this chapter *shrugs shoulders* but oh well. I really like next one, so it's fine... the next one is also REALLY F***ING LONG... I'm gonna hate typing that up... I asked all my friends for a random name and chose one of my own then combined them all together for the pandas name... Cuz this is my screw it, I do whatever da hell I want fanfic... Also, I believe, my best written one O_o

~FemSonGoku


End file.
